You know.. it's weird. This whole love thing. I mean I don't think I've been in love.. I'd prefer to use othere emotions to describe the way I have felt. And now the way I feel, well I'd love to say it's love but I just can't. I hate being hurt. And so, I hate being open. Maybe someone will force me to be open and then I'll know they are the one...? I don't know. I have such a hard time opening up. But I want nothing more than to open up. Maybe he's not the one? Maybe I should try harder? Who is to know? I love. I want so badly to be in the place that I am meant to be. You know what I mean.... Whether it is that older man... or that slightly older man.. or that much older man.. I want to be there. I want to got to school.. but I want him to care for me... ahhhhh it is so hard to explain.. I am soo independent and I won't let a man do a thing for me.. and yet I know the man that does.. and forces me to.. will be the man for me :)

I broke up with my boyfriend last night. It was the worst kind of break-up. The one where neither of you wants to let go. But I had to. We had to. This song is the only thing consoling me right now. He is my very best friend and I will never forget him.

Some day, when I'm awfully low,

When the world is cold,

I will feel a glow just thinking of you...

And the way you look tonight.

Yes you're lovely, with your smile so warm

And your cheeks so soft,

There is nothing for me but to love you,

And the way you look tonight.

With each word your tenderness grows,

Tearing my fear apart...

And that laugh that wrinkles your nose,

It touches my foolish heart.

Lovely ... Never, ever change.

Keep that breathless charm.

Won't you please arrange it ?

'Cause I love you ... Just the way you look tonight.

Mm, Mm, Mm, Mm, Just the way you look to-night.

I wonder if it's possible to have a love affair that lasts forever.
--Andy Warhol

Interesting thought really, it gave me the chills as soon as I read it. Just the thought of a love affair that lasted forever. I mean wouldn't that be the ultimate love.. it doesn't have to be a love affair as in cheating, but for the love to be an affair. You know something really so important it's not just a relationship but an affair! Yes with exclamation that everyday it's like going to a party, every day a benefit ball in your names, in your names of love. Doesn't it sound so exciting?

Maybe thats not what Andy was saying maybe he meant the usual love affair, is it possible for that to last forever, as in the nuclear model of love.